Updated: Nov 20, 2022
I think in this day and age, having it all and doing it all, is just expected. No one says to us that when we drop the ball in one dept it's ok, we are just reminded how we dropped the ball.
Understand, doing it all is inherently not possible. We think it is because we are forced into, what seems, no other option. But actually, letting some things slide, has to happen for your own happiness. And being the "perfect" mum needs to be one of them.
I rant and rave at my kids. I also tell them how much I love them and try to explain why I lose my shit. Oftentimes, it's just blank looks or some snarky come back but I am physically and emotionally knackered and I know that's when I snap soonest. Do I wish I could be that super calm parent, of course... Until you speak to said super calm parent and realise they too have had plenty of meltdowns. We are all just trying to do our best.
Instead, maybe focus on yourself for a moment each day.
Take a moment to breathe deeply (I mean really deeply) calm your racing heart and mind.
Go for a walk or just step out into the fresh air and take in all the colours, sunlight, blue skies, trees around you.
Exercise for you, whether that's walking, doing resistance training or climbing, build up your strength and resilience
When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and said something good to yourself. Do it now. Instead of a reflection of you, look at this person as another human being. How would you speak to her? Would you tell her she's doing great? Would you tell her she's looking pretty today? High Five that person... Sounds crazy but it works! (Mel Robbins)
Take a moment to meditate, journal, speak out loud some affirmations and really find a space to ground yourself and enjoy the peace (might be an early morning rise,before picking up the kids from. school or when you've locked yourself in the bathroom!) But this can really help you find the best in life even when feeling overwhelmed.
Even if you did only one of the above actions every day, you will slowly remind yourself of who YOU are. You are not just a mum you are a person in your own right. Believe that you deserve to feel stronger, happier and healthier and that means sometimes we have to drop the ball and not pick it back up, because this life isn't meant to be perfect.
Our kids will be fine.
Having a mum who finds ways to prioritise her mental and physical health first is a great example to set for our kids. Just watch.